Standing there in his bedroom Sofia struggled to find balance as the anxiety wrapped itself around her body and blinded her thoughts. She didn’t know how to make him happy.
As she walked towards him, suddenly her face hit something hard crippling her nose and sending painful vibrations through her forehead. It felt like glass, but she couldn’t see anything. She could only feel the cold hard texture pressing up against her body. Confused, Sofia slammed her palms against it, knocking as loud as she could trying desperately to get his attention.
Brian just sat there on the bed typing away on his laptop as if she didn’t even exist. In that moment he looked happy with a sickly ease of content. If he is so happy without her then why have her around at all? It felt like a cruel game, one she was never going to win. As the intensity of her anxiety grew the fear of abandonment began to set in. Suddenly, Brian turned and looked towards her, but his wry smile turned dark as his eyes narrowed and his gaze lowered.
“Look at you. You’re terminal! I can’t deal with your anxiety issues anymore. How do you expect me to take on all your shit as well as my own,” he yelled, “Oh fuck, here we go.”
“I’m not terminal! Stop using that horrible word,” Sofia replied.
As the tears slowly rolled down her face she stood there in a cloud of numbness wishing she was enough. At any given time he was always too busy to see her, spend time together or even pick up the phone and talk, even if it was just for a few minutes. Sofia wanted him to give a fuck about anything other than himself.
“Can’t you see I’m busy trying to work and study. I don’t have time to see you,” he whined.
“I know. I just wanted to say hi and see how you were,” Sofia replied hopelessly, “It’s been over two weeks. You haven’t asked once how I am. Do you even want to be together?”
“I don’t have time for this Sofia,” Brian said as he looked out the bedroom window with a frustrated snarl across his face.
Sofia stood there unsure what to do or say. Abruptly, Brian slammed his fist on the bedside table screaming out, “Fuck! Yes, I do want to be with you. Like I said, I will call soon.”
Turning away Brian continued typing as if the conversation didn’t even happen. Silence lingered in the air as her hands slid down the barrier that remained between them. Sofia wasn’t sure why he was doing this. He refused to break up with her, but didn’t want to be with her.
“What did “soon” even mean?” she said to herself. “Tomorrow? A fortnight? A month?”
Suddenly, Sofia felt the warmth of a hand on her shoulder. Startled she jumped back to see an extremely tall woman standing behind her unlike anyone she had ever seen before. Boldly curvaceous, she was every part woman, just strangely missing a head and neck. In its usual place were the most stunning ears of a wolf bulging with bright green forest leaves and dripping in oozing blood. As her eyes followed the woman’s curves she noticed her voluptuous thick breasts had big beautiful chestnut shaped eyes in place of nipples staring directly into her own. Her body was covered in densely layered umbrella leaves, the kind you would find deep in the Daintree rainforest located in the northeast coast of Queensland. Set on the outside of her vagina folds were deliciously luscious lips dripping deep ebony reds down the insides of her thighs. Dragon wings protruding from her back were layered in thick intricate vines glowing soft hues of blues and greens, while a large bushy wolf’s tail wrapped its way sensually down her right leg.
As she wiped away her tears the initial shock began to fade away and Sofia noticed her anxiety had shifted. She didn’t feel threatened or scared by this mythical creature, but rather protected and safe. Looking around she noticed they were standing under the canopy of the rainforest, no longer in Brian’s bedroom.
“Is this another nightmare?” she thought to herself.
“It doesn’t have to be,” the woman replied, “Take control and it can become anything you want.”
“You can hear my thoughts?” Sofia asked.
The woman raised her brow and gave her a wink. Sofia wasn’t sure if she could feel her sheets in her hands, but the fresh cool air against her face under the morning sun peaking through the thick treetops was so damn blissful she didn’t want to return just yet. The sounds of the birds all in harmonisation, whilst water dripped from the ferns surrounding them had her wondering where she could possibly go.
“Come with me, I want to show you something,” the woman said as the blood continued to fall from her lips and down the inside of her legs.
Pushing a large palm leaf aside, she revealed a path to Sofia and began to lead the way deeper into the rainforest. As they approached a fork in the path, it was then Sofia started to hear the faint murmuring of women chanting, bangles clicking and beads shimmering. The woman turned to look at her and gestured towards the right where the path was covered in an array of footprints both large and small skirting down the middle and up the sides, but all in the same direction leading further deep within the forest. Hesitant Sofia stuttered, “Where are you taking me?”
“Home,” she said, gently giving her shoulder a nudge.
Stepping forward Sofia began down the path following the sounds that continued to echo throughout the forest. As they approached the clearing she was confronted by a large group of feminine creatures, some similar to the woman she had only just met, wildly dancing in a circle, dressed in an array of stunning sensual costumes.
Each femme creature had varying types of animal ears in place of a human head. There were rabbit, wolf, elephant, tiger, mouse and other such ears rippling against the night sky adorned in feathers and sequence. Glitter shone amongst their curvaceous bodies as they performed the sacred rituals. Amongst the women were mythical creatures that Sofia could only imagine were descendents of the feminine wild protecting the group from the outside world.
Feeling a little nudge on her side the woman ushered Sofia towards the group energetically. Digging her heels in she resisted shaking her head in fear. It was the fear of looking ridiculous, the fear of not fitting in, the fear of making a fool of herself and most of all the fear of not being enough.
“It doesn’t matter how you look just as long as you express yourself and be present in the moment, beautiful girl,” she said walking forward, “Stop being so hard on yourself. Trust me, the pain will go when you start accepting who you are. This is your home”
The woman started to let her limbs rise and fall with the momentum of the group as she twisted rhythmically to the sounds of the forest. Slowly, as the chanting picked up in beat and volume the woman began to morph into the folds of the group as long elegant feathers adorned her wings, beads draped across her body and intricate detailings of sequence and corsetry bloomed all over her torso.
A little scared and nervous Sofia stepped forward as a raindrop landed on her cheek. Looking up she realised it was beginning to rain as the wild women’s dance was now circling around her. Knowing that she wanted nothing more than to let her anxiety and painful agnst towards herself go Sofia took the hand of the woman that was being offered and started to move.
It was in that moment, as the rain fell, her body began to dance with the wild rhythm of nature. There was no judgement or rules just an oozing softness that radiated amongst the group. The forests vines ran wild and jellyfish drifted amongst the snowflakes as the women encouraged her to enjoy her body and bath in the pleasures of the forest.
While she watched her curves roll with the sounds in no particular direction Sofia could feel the leaves rise within her thighs and buds beginning to burst from her breasts. Sofia felt powerful responding to the movement of those around. Elements of bright green splashed across her face intertwined with pastel hues that calmed and soothed her limbs. She felt free, yet ravaged by a desire to completely let go amongst the rhythms of the wild.
Moments later Sofia awoke to the sound of her alarm, completely lucid...